I read a quote from Miranda Lambert where she noted that her album of the year award was essentially her diary! Sometimes the best stuff can come from real life. And at times, real life is just plain hard.
The last 6 1/2 years have been hard as we have tried to grow our family. If I had a penny for every doctors appointment, drug, blood work, and procedures I’ve endured, I could reimburse myself for most of the cost (there may be a slight exaggeration)! But that’s not necessarily the hard part. What makes it more trying is the setbacks along the way, and the “failures.” It’s hard not to find blame in yourself, even though I know there’s nothing I could have done differently.
My husband, unfortunately, has to hear all of my grumblings along the way. I feel bad since it’s nothing he doesn’t already know and/or feel, but at the same token, I know he gets where I’m coming from, and I KNOW he wishes he could magically snap his fingers and make it all better.
Tonight I asked if I could vent to him (like he’d say no 😉). When I’m done, I always tell him I feel crazy. He always reminds me that he loves me, and we’ll get through everything together.
And then it hit me! A new song idea (because I don’t have enough ideas)!
If you’re like me, you see yourself more harshly than everyone else sees you. I’ve complained about my hair color (or as I like to say, “you can’t buy this in a box” color), my lack of torso length (which makes me feel like gaining 1 pound looks lik 10), and my inability to see beyond my mistakes sometimes. Luckily, my friends and family see me as someone completely different! I don’t know exactly how they see me, but they keep coming around and hanging out, so there must be something about me that doesn’t repel them!
If this sounds like something you deal with, stop and remember that you are loved for more than you know! You are loved for your passion, your kindness, your boldness, your smile, your laughter. We possess so many great qualities that we overlook. Below is a snippet of my free writing for a new song. I hope it can encourage you as much as I need the encouragement!
(I wonder how different my life could be / if I could see the way that you see me / Would i see the passion and potential I have / to conquer this world and love the me that you see)
The Culver Project 